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Elizabeth's Young Man 

A Farce in One Act 



By 

LOUISE SEYMOUR HASBROUCK 

Dramatized from a story by the same author which ap- 
peared in the Editor s Drawer in Harper s Magazine of Oc- 
tober, 19 io, by the kind permission of Harper and Brothers. 



The professional stage rights in this play are reserved by the 
author, and all persons wishing to produce it publicly and for 
profit should apply for permission to the author in care of the 
publishers. Amateurs may produce it without permission. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1917 



v< 



\5> 






Elizabeth's Young Man 



CHARACTERS 

Miss Abigail Orr. 

Mrs. Lanning. 

Elizabeth Orr, Miss Abigail's niece. 

John Martin, "Elizabeth's Young Man. 




Copyright, 191 7, by Louise Seymour Hasbrouck 

Free for amateur performance. Professional stage 
and moving picture rights reserved. 



.- 
J 



NQV 14 1917 ©CI.D 48330 







Elizabeth's Young Man 



SCENE. — The living-room in Miss Abigail Orr's typical 
New England home. To the l., a fireplace, whose 
mantel supports various old-fashioned ornaments, in- 
cluding a Wedgwood vase. Near it, a " what-not " 
with a child's picture-book lying on the top shelf. At 
the l. front, a small table and chairs. At the r. back, 
a window opening upon a garden. Near it, a tea- 
table and chairs. At the R. front, a mahogany sofa 
covered with horsehair. The entrance to the room is 
through a door at the c. Other features, such as 
panelled wainscoting and tapestried wall-paper, an- 
cestral portraits, braided rugs and dried grasses in tall 
vases, may safely be left to the imagination of the 
reader and the ingenuity of the scene-setter. Time: 
an afternoon in the spring of the present year. 

(As the curtain rises, Miss Orr is discovered by the 
table at the l., frowning over a letter. She is an 
angular New England spinster, past fifty, with 
settled views and character, stern exterior, and a 
warm heart. Enter Mrs. Lanning, her cousin and 
neighbor. Mrs. Lanning is of about the same age 
as Miss Orr, but is perfectly willing to ignore the 
fact. She is stout, with the> kind of sandy hair that 
turns gray almost imperceptibly, and a florid face 
that is only half a score of years removed from 
prettiness. She is dressed zmth some degree of 
coquettishness, in a skirt and waist that do not quite 
meet in the back, and has thrown a pale-blue knitted 
silk " fascinator " over her head. Her mild blue 

3 



4 Elizabeth's young man 

eyes betray a romantic nature, and the expression of 
her face curiosity and an overflowing enthusiasm 
about things in general.) 

Mrs. Lanning. Good-morning, Abbie. 

Miss Orr. Good-morning, Lucretia. (Puts her let- 
ter away in a black bead bag hanging from a silver pin at 
her waist. ) What can I do for you ? 

Mrs. Lanning (sitting down at the other side of the 
table). I came over to borrow an egg. Is that let- 
ter ? 

Miss Orr. I'm sorry. We're all out of fresh eggs. 

Mrs. Lanning. Oh, well, it doesn't matter. Didn't 
I see the postman stopping here ? Did he ? 

Miss Orr. I think Mrs. Brown has some eggs. 

Mrs. Lanning. I don't believe I need one, after all. 
By the way, is this the day you get the Churchman? I 
saw the postman stopping here and 

Miss Orr. The Churchman came yesterday. It is 
on the table, if you'd like to look at it. (Hands it to her.) 

Mrs. Lanning (accepting it reluctantly). If you have 
a letter you want to read, Abbie, don't mind me. Read 
it aloud. I adore letters. 

Miss Orr. Never mind. It can wait. 

Mrs. Lanning. Don't stand on ceremony. Is it from 
that missionary we sent the box to last winter? Did he 
get my red flannel petticoat? 

Miss Orr. No. It is from my niece Elizabeth. 

Mrs. Lanning (gushingly). Elizabeth! Then it's 
sure to be interesting ! What does the dear girl say ? 

Miss Orr. Young people write so badly nowadays I 
can hardly tell what she says. But 

Mrs. Lanning. Is it about some of her cases? How 
fascinating it must be to be a trained nurse ! Just one 
awful disease after another, and people dying, and all! 
I envy her !; 

Miss Orr (shocked). How can you? 

Mrs. Lanning. Don't you? Think what a career it 
is for her! 

Miss Orr. Why should she have a career? Why 
should she — as she calls it — make her way in the world? 



Elizabeth's young man 



Mrs. Lanning. When she might stay at home and 
have it, as you have done, you mean ? 

Miss Orr. Exactly. 

Mrs. Lanning (enthusiastically). But don't you 
think trained nursing is a noble, beautiful profession? 
Think of soothing the brow of pain, of smoothing the 
fevered pillow, of counting the throbbing pulse. 

Miss Orr. Most improper! Especially for a young 
girl like Elizabeth ! Imagine her holding a young man's 
hand to feel his pulse ! 

Mrs. Lanning (eagerly). Oh, my dear, if you're 
going into that! Pulses aren't a circumstance! (Looks 
over her shoulder to be sure no one is listening, and leans 
nearer Miss Orr.) Let me tell you. 

Miss Orr (horrified). No indelicate details, please! 

Mrs. Lanning. Don't show your age so, Abbie ! If 
you were twenty I could tell you anything! 

Miss Orr. I'm afraid you mean you couldn't tell me 
anything! Young people nowadays are altogether too 
advanced ! And that reminds me. Elizabeth 

Mrs. Lanning. Yes? 

Miss Orr (taking the letter out of her bag). I never 
•thought a niece of mine would be travelling about the 
country alone with a young man ! 

Mrs. Lanning (delighted). Travelling alone with a 
young man ! Elizabeth is so unconventional ! 

Miss Orr (absently, looking at letter). Of course 
he's an idiot. 

Mrs. Lanning. An idiot? Nonsense! Why an 
idiot? Any young man would be glad to travel with 
Elizabeth. 

Miss Orr. But he is an idiot, I tell you ! 

Mrs. Lanning. Abbie, a young man travelling with 
your own niece, an idiot ! What a thing to say ! 

Miss Orr. Lucretia, can't you understand? Eliza- 
beth is taking an idiot on a railway journey ! 

Mrs. Lanning. Well, that's one of the strangest 
things I ever heard ! Why should she pick him out, when 
there are so many nice young men who would be simply 
crazy to — — 



Elizabeth's young man 



Miss Orr {sharply). Elizabeth is not doing it for 
pleasure. It is a professional duty, of course. 

Mrs. Lanning. Oh, I understand! How stupid of 
me ! Then he's not in love with her ? 

Miss Orr. I don't know. It rather sounds to me as 
if he were. 

Mrs. Lanning. How weird and interesting! Do 
read me the letter. 

Miss Orr. I will. {Goes and stands by the window 
to get a better light on the letter. Reads.) " I have been 

seeing something of Dr. " er, can't make out that 

name. " Have just finished my typhoid case- " 

Mrs. Lanning {shaking her head with an air of 
lugubrious enjoyment). Finished her, did she? Dear, 
dear! There's nothing like modern nursing! It's so 
efficient ! 

Miss Orr. Here it is. {Reads.) " My next job is 
to take a patient from his home here to the Fairview 
Sanitarium for the Insane. He is a young man whose 
mind is weakened. A very sad case. I go through West- 
ville Thursday the sixteenth, a week from to-day." 

Mrs. Lanning. But the sixteenth is to-day. Where 
has that letter been all this time ? 

Miss Orr {examining the envelope}. They sent it to 
Westville, Colorado, instead of Westville, New York. 
How stupid of them ! Then she goes through here to- 
day! {Reads.) "I do wish I could stop off and see 
you, but I suppose I had better not." 

Mrs. Lanning {nervously). I should hope not! 
{Pulls herself together, with a touch of bravado.) Not 
that / should mind having a crazy person about ; I don't 
know what fear is ; but you would be nervous. And then 
he might break some of your furniture, your heirlooms. 

Miss Orr. There is no question of their coming. 
Elizabeth herself says so. 

{Looks out of the window and screams. Mrs. Lan- 
ning jumps and involuntarily echoes the scream. 
Miss Orr screams again. Mrs. Lanning echoes.) 

Mrs. Lanning {rising). What is it? 



Elizabeth's young man 



Miss Orr. Look ! Coming up the walk ! Eliza- 
beth — with a young man ! 

Mrs. Lanning (hurriedly making for the door). I 
will go and get help ! 

Miss Orr. You're not going to leave me alone in the 
house ! 

Mrs. Lanning. No, no, I'm not leaving you, of 
course — only to get the butcher's boy. I saw him pass 
just now. 

Miss Orr (sternly, getting between Mrs. Lanning 
and the door). The Orrs do not consult butchers' boys 
about their family affairs ! 

Mrs. Lanning. But what will we do? 

Miss Orr. We three women ought to be able to 
manage one man, if he is crazy ! You just said you were 
never afraid ; you've taken a First Aid course. What is 
the thing to do if he becomes violent ? 

Mrs. Lanning (flustered). Mercy! What does my 
First Aid book say ? Loosen the corsets ? But of course 
he doesn't wear corsets. Roll on barrel ? No ! That's 
for drowning. Smelling-salts? They'd excite him! I 
remember! Water! That's the remedy. Water! We 
must have plenty of it. 

Miss Orr. Water? Are you sure? Inside or out- 
side? Hot or cold? Quick! 

Mrs. Lanning (triumphantly). Outside! Lots of it! 
Hot or cold. They use it in insane asylums and jails. 
It calms them instantly. 

(The door-bell rings.) 

Miss Orr. Here they are ! 

Enter Elizabeth Orr with a young man. Elizabeth 
is a pretty girl, in an obviously new, and even more 
obviously becoming, travelling costume. She rushes 
to her aunt and kisses her. There is an excitement 
in her manner not lost upon the two ladies. The 
young man hovers in the background, smiling in what 
Miss Orr and Mrs. Lanning consider a feeble- 
minded manner. Aside from this almost imbecile 



Elizabeth's young man 



appearance of cheerfulness, he appears not unin- 
telligent. His head is well-shaped and his features 
good. An unfortunate nervousness is very evident, 
however, in his manner. 

Elizabeth. Aunt Abbie, I'm so glad to see -you ! Did 
you get my letter? 

Miss Orr {returning her embrace with a touch of 
disapproval, and keeping her eye upon the young man), 
I certainly did ! 

Elizabeth {in evident confusion, but brightly). 
Then you know who this is — John Martin ! 

Martin {stepping forward, smiling, and extending his 
hand). Miss Orr, I cannot tell you how delighted I am 
to meet you ! 

Miss Orr {coldly, avoiding shaking hands with him). 
Indeed ! 

Elizabeth {turning to Mrs. Lanning, who is stand- 
ing by the table at l. ) . And Cousin Lucretia, too ! How 
do you do? Aunt Abbie has told you the news, of 
course ? Allow me to present — my 

Martin {following Elizabeth, with hand out- 
stretched). So this is Cousin Lucretia! I have heard 
Elizabeth speak of you. (Mrs. Lanning retreats behind 
the table to avoid shaking hands with him. Martin looks 
a little taken aback, but turns to Miss Orr again.) I 
hope you will forgive our surprising you this way. 

Miss Orr. Not at all ! I mean, I suppose it can't be 
helped now. 

Elizabeth. You don't sound very cordial, auntie ! 

Mrs. Lanning {nervously, from behind the table). 
We're delighted to see you, of course. Your train goes 
very soon, doesn't it? You haven't time to sit down, 
have you ? 

Elizabeth. Of course we have! Our train doesn't 
go for an hour. {She sits down. Martin offers Mrs. 
Lanning a chair, but she refuses it and goes over to sit 
by Miss Orr on the sofa. Martin and Elizabeth ex- 
change puzzled glances. Martin sits down on the other 
side of the table from Elizabeth.) I've heaps to tell 
you. All about how John and I met, for instance 



Elizabeth's young man 



Miss Orr {grimly), I think the less said about that, 
the better ! 

Elizabeth {bewildered). Why, Aunt Abbie, how 
can you say such a thing ? What do you mean ? 

Martin {half -rising) . Indeed, Miss Orr, there was 
nothing you could object to in the least! 

Mrs. Lanning {io Martin). There, there, never 
mind! She doesn't mean anything! {Aside, to Miss 
Orr, nudging her violently with her elbow.) Be careful, 
Abbie ! Don't rouse him ! 

Miss Orr {determinedly changing the subject). 
Ah ! — pleasant weather we're having. 

Martin. Delightful ! I don't know when I've en- 
joyed a spring so much. But who wouldn't — with this 
little girl for a companion ? 

{Reaches over for Elizabeth's hand, which he fondles 
in both of his.) 

Miss Orr. Mercy! 

Elizabeth. Don't mind him, auntie! He's just a 
little silly ! 

Mrs. Lanning. Don't call him so to his face, child! 
Elizabeth {laughing). Oh, he knows! 
Mrs. Lanning. Take care, Elizabeth ! 

(Miss Orr rises and goes to the tea-table. Mrs. Lan- 
ning joins her and they whisper together.) 

Martin {to Elizabeth). Darling, you didn't tell me 
your aunt was such a funny, cranky old maid. She acts 
as if she had never seen anybody in love before. Isn't 
she getting — you know ( Taps his head. ) 

Elizabeth. She does seem different. She was al- 
ways eccentric, but not so queer. It's been such a shock 
to her, poor dear, our getting ma 

Miss Orr. Elizabeth ! Come here. 

Martin. Talk to her alone, Elizabeth. Tell her I'm 
not as bad as I seem. 

{Walks to the mantelpiece and examines prnvments, 
Picks up the Wedgwood vase.) 

Elizabeth. Yes, auntie, 



10 Elizabeth's young man 

Mrs. Lanning (/o MissOrr). Look, Abbie! Your 
great-grandmother's Wedgwood vase ! 

Miss Orr (beside herself with fear for her heirloom. 
To Martin). Put that down ! 

Martin (turning, surprised). I beg your pardon? 

Miss Orr (crossing to him, and speaking as if to a 
child). Put it down, right away! 

Martin (facetiously, making as if to hide the vase 
inside his coat). Can't I take it with me? 

Miss Orr (taking the vase from him and setting it 
back on the shelf). Of course not! Sit down and be 
quiet. (She goes to the " what-not " and takes out the 
child's picture-book.) Here are some nice pictures for 
you to look at. See (pointing), here's a cat! There's a 
dog ! There's a horsey ! 

Martin (at first showing great surprise, then humor- 
ing her). Cat! Dog! Horsey! Can you tell them 
right off? Just like that ? 

Miss Orr. Look at them and I'll make you something 
nice to drink. (Crosses to tea-table.) 

Martin (turning and beckoning to Elizabeth). 
Elizabeth ! Come here and see the nice picture book your 
aunt has given me to look at. (Playfully, pointing at 
each picture.) Cat! Dog! Horsey! 

Elizabeth (at his shoulder, laughing). How absurd 
you are ! (To her aunt.) Let me help you with the tea. 

Miss Orr (to Elizabeth). Will you get me the 
Ceylon tea from the pantry ? And wait ! Fetch me the 
bottle of Dr. Petty's Soothing Syrup from the medicine 
closet. 

Elizabeth. Soothing syrup ? 

Miss Orr. Yes. It's invaluable. 

Elizabeth. I don't approve of patent medicines, you 
know. But you do need something! [Exit. 

(Miss Orr busies herself at the tea-table. Martin 
beckons to Mrs. Lanning, who at length coyly ap- 
proaches and sits in the chair Elizabeth has vacated. 
Martin makes a pantomime of showing her the 
book.) 



Elizabeth's young man ii 

Mrs. Lanning (making conversation). Lovely day 
for a trip, isn't it? 

Martin. Yes, indeed ! By the way, we must take the 
train before very long. I have to be at the sanitarium 
to-night. 

Mrs. Lanning (soothingly). Yes? I'm sure it's a 
very nice place. How happy you will be there ! 

Martin. Yes, indeed! It's a splendid sanitarium! 
It's a privilege to be called there. 

Mrs. Lanning. What? A privilege? 

Martin. Certainly. I couldn't be in a better place. 
Magnificent buildings, all the latest hospital conveniences, 
absolutely sanitary, white-tiled floors and walls, exactly 
like the Childs' Restaurants ! 

Mrs. Lanning. You don't say ! 

Martin. Oh, yes! It's up-to-date in every way. 
They use the latest methods with the patients. No knock- 
ing about, no violence ! That always gets on my nerves. 

Mrs. Lanning. I should think it would. There will 
be nothing of the sort, you say? I'm so glad for you ! 

Martin. Oh, no, nothing. The idea is to make the 
patients feel at home. Victrolas, movies, dances, all that 
sort of thing. Awfully jolly ! 

Mrs. Lanning. I hope you'll find it so, I'm sure. 

Martin. I? Oh, of course. There'll be a lot of 
congenial people there. A good crowd. 

Mrs. Lanning. The patients, you mean ? 

Martin. Ha, ha, that's good, Mrs. Lanning! No, 
not the patients — the other doctors, of course. 

Mrs. Lanning (shocked at his delusion). Oh — so 
you're a doctor! Well, did I ever! (Recovers herself.) 
How nice! Of course you will make the patients all 
well? 

Martin. Well, hardly. This insanity is a terrible 
business, Mrs. Lanning. (Excitedly smiting the table 
with his fist. ) Terrible ! It's increasing all the time. 

Mrs. Lanning (alarmed, wishing to divert him). 
There, there, I wouldn't worry about it, if I were you! 
It isn't your fault, you know. We must just take such 
things as they come. (Picks up book.) Look at this 



12 Elizabeth's young man 

pretty picture. What does it say beneath it? (Reads 
aloud, as if to a child.) " Oh, see the nice Bossie-cow! 
Does Bessie love Bossie ? Yes, Bessie does love Bossie ! " 

Martin (bewildered). Bessie loves Bossie, does she? 
(Aside.) What is the matter? Why do they all talk 
that way? Ah, I know. (With a sudden inspiration.) 
Do you keep a kindergarten, Mrs. Lanning? 

Mrs. Lanning (assenting to anything). Yes, that's 
it. We keep a nice kindergarten for nice little boys and 
girls. This is the nice book we show them. 

Martin (resignedly). How — nice! C-A-T. What 
does that spell, Mrs. Lanning? 

Mrs. Lanning. Never mind now. (Enter Eliza- 
beth with caddy and bottle.) Here comes Elizabeth 
with the tea things. 

Martin (looking at Elizabeth fondly). Isn't Eliza- 
beth wonderful ? So capable ! 

Mrs. Lanning. Yes, she is just the right person to 
have the care of you. 

Martin. Aha, that's good! Care of me! Well, 
perhaps I do need it. 

Elizabeth (overhearing). I should say he did! 
He's the most foolish man! (Martin throws her a 
kiss.) Why, I positively have to force him to wear 
rubbers when it rains ! 

Martin. Yes, she even insisted on my packing them 
in my grip to-day, this glorious day ! Isn't the weather 
perfect for a wedding-trip? 

Mrs. Lanning. A wedding-trip ! How horrible ! 

Martin. There, there, don't get excited, Bossie. I 
won't do it again ! A wedding-trip comes only once in a 
lifetime, usually! 

Elizabeth. Only once in your lifetime, I hope ! 

Miss Orr (meaningly, to Elizabeth). And only 
once^ in yours ! You must not repeat this experience. 
It will be a lesson to you ! Here, make him drink this 
tea. It will calm him. 

(Adds a spoonful of soothing syrup to the cap.) 
Elizabeth, Why, auntie, what are you doing? Is it 



Elizabeth's young mam 13 

the fashion in Westville now to put patent medicine in 
your tea? 

Miss Orr. Sh-sh ! Give it to him at once. Or if 
you won't, I will! (Advances upon Martin deter- 
minedly with the cup. ) Here, drink this ! 

Martin. With pleasure. But — wait a minute — Bos- 
sie, you take this! (Extends cup to Mrs. Lanning.) 

Mrs. Lanning. Thank you, no! That's for you. 
(To Miss Orr.) Make my tea strong, Abbie! I never 
needed it so much. 

(Martin tastes his tea, looks surprised and disgusted. 
Puts the cup down.) 

Miss Orr. Drink all of that. It is good for you. 

Martin (pleadingly). Really, I'm — I'm not thirsty! 

Elizabeth. Auntie, please let me give him some plain 
tea. I knew he wouldn't like that. 

Miss Orr. Elizabeth, I didn't think you, a nurse, 
cared whether a person liked a thing or not ! Mr. Martin, 
drink that tea ! (She strikes the table commandingly. 
Martin jumps.) Drink it this instant! 

Martin. Oh, very well. Your manner is so coaxing, 
Miss Orr, I just can't resist it. 

(Gulps the tea, making faces, which increases Miss 
Orr's and Mrs. Lanning's dismay.) 

Miss Orr. Have another cup. 

Martin (decidedly). No, thank you. One is plenty. 
It is very rich tea; rich, and I hope rare. (Swallows 
again.) I think I'll go out in the garden. Then you and 
Elizabeth can have a little talk. Come on, Bossie! 
(Beckons to Mrs. Lanning.) Come see all the pretty 
birds and butterflies. (Gestures appropriately. Exit.) 

Miss Orr. Yes, Lucretia. Go. 

Mrs. Lanning (nervously). Please excuse me. 
Really— I— don't feel well ! 

Miss Orr (sternly). Lucretia, go! He mustn't be 
alone. (Pushes her toward the door.) 

Martin (reappearing at the door for an instant). 
Come on, Bossie ! [Exeunt Martin and Mrs. Lanning. 

Miss Orr (drawing Elizabeth to the sofa; they both 



14 Elizabeth's young mam 

Ht down). Elizabeth, this is a terrible situation! What 
made you bring him here ? Why didn't you go straight to 
the sanitarium? 

Elizabeth. Why, auntie, I didn't think you'd mind. 
In fact, I thought you'd be interested to see him. If I 
had known it was going to put you out ! 

Miss Orr. It is not myself I am thinking of, Eliza- 
beth. It is you. Oh, if I only had a telephone! How 
can I get hold of a policeman? 

Elizabeth. A policeman? 

(Stares at her aunt fearfully.) 

Miss Orr (wildly). Yes! You must be separated. 
You cannot go on with him! 

Elizabeth. Separated ? 

Miss Orr. Yes! Turn him over to the proper 
authorities. If you only had a brother, or a father! 
They would be the persons to handle him. Stay here 
with me, and lead the quiet, sheltered life you used to. 
You are too young, too inexperienced, for this sort of 
thing ! 

Elizabeth. Why, I'm as old as lots of girls who 

Miss Orr. I dare say. But it's not right. Why, 
Elizabeth, I tremble when I think of you alone with that 
man! 

Elizabeth (laughing and confused). Auntie, really! 
You're positively embarrassing ! 

Miss Orr. You think I've had no experience, but I 
know the signs ! There is a gleam in his eye as he looks 
at you ! 

Elizabeth. Oh, auntie ! 
. Miss Orr. Of course, it is only to be expected. But 
that is all the more reason why you shouldn't be with 
him. You are not old enough or strong enough to 
manage him. 

Elizabeth (tossing her head). Oh, I can manage 
him all right. He does exactly as I say. 

Miss Orr. You think so. But there may come a time 
when you can't. Even now, you can't keep him from 
acting in that silly way. 



Elizabeth's young man 15 

Elizabeth. I suppose it does seem silly to you, dear ! 
But really, auntie, he's quite sensible when you come to 
know him. Brilliant, in fact ! 

Miss Orr. It's just that kind, I believe, who are 
often affected this way. Very sad ! 

Elizabeth. Affected this way? 

Miss Orr. Yes. If it hadn't been for this insane 
marrying idea of his, I myself would not have noticed 
anything especially peculiar about him. 

Elizabeth. Well, aunt, really ! You're flattering, to 
say the least. I had no idea you had such a poor opinion 
of me. 

Miss Orr. A poor opinion of you? Not at all! 
But I don't think you are fitted to be with a man like 
him. You are too yielding, too young! A woman of 
my age and character would be much better. 

Elizabeth. The idea! But he didn't ask you, you 
see! 

Miss Orr. When they get in this condition it doesn't 
matter what or whom they ask! One should consider 
what .is best for them ! 

Elizabeth. Auntie, you're not well! You talk so 
strangely. (Enter Martin, humming an air.) Oh, 
here's John! 

Enter Mrs. Lanning, carrying a pitcher, and remain- 
ing in the background. Martin goes up to Eliza- 
beth and kisses her. 

Miss Orr. Elizabeth! Stop him! 

Martin. Well, have you had a nice talk? 

Elizabeth (to Martin). Auntie has been saying the 
queerest things ! She thinks you ought to have married 
her! 

Martin. Good Heavens ! We must be going ! 

Miss Orr (getting between him and the exit; des- 
perately). Not one step shall you stir out of this house 
with my niece! I forbid it! Sit down! (Martin, 
alarmed, takes Elizabeth by the arm, to remove her 
from this dangerous vicinity. ) Don't touch her ! 

Martin. She is mad ! This is serious ! 



16 Elizabeth's young man 

{He moves forward to restrain her.) 
Miss Orr. Quick, Lucretia ! The water ! 

(Mrs. Lanning throws the contents of the pitcher at 
Martin.) 

Martin. What the devil Bossie, you too? 

Elizabeth. , How dare you treat my husband so? • 

Mrs. Lanning. Elizabeth, you aren't married to him! 

Miss Orr. My niece, married to a lunatic ? 

Elizabeth {wailing and throwing her arms around 
her husband's neck). He's not a lunatic ! He's my hus- 
band, Dr. Martin ! 

{Sobs, and feels for her handkerchief. As she pulls 
it out, a shower of confetti falls on the floor.) 

Martin {struggling to regain his temper and wringing 
water from his collar). There! Look at all that con- 
fetti. Doesn't that prove it? 

Miss Orr. But the letter? 

{Produces the letter from her black bead bag.) 

Elizabeth {taking it). Oh, is that the other letter I 
wrote last week? Didn't you get the one to-day telling 
about our wedding ? 

Miss Orr. No. 

Mrs. Lanning {beaming). A wedding! How ro- 
mantic it all is! I knew from the first you were per- 
fectly harmless, Dr. Martin. 

Martin. Good for you, Bossie! Say, Elizabeth, 
we've just got time to catch our train. Say good-bye to 
your aunt. 

Elizabeth {hurriedly embracing Miss Orr). Good- 
bye, Aunt Abbie. 

Martin. Good-bye, Miss Orr! {Waves his hand.) 

Elizabeth. Good-bye, Cousin Lucretia. 

Martin. Good-bye, Bossie! Thank you both for 
such a delightful visit. {Exeunt Martin and Eliza- 
beth. An instant later Martin reappears in the door- 



ELIZABETH S YOUNG MAN I 7 

way. Mischievously.) Come and see us at the 
sanitarium! We're always ready for visitors like you! 

[Exit. 

(Miss Orr and Mrs. Lanning fall into chairs dumb- 
founded. A pause.) 

Miss Orr. Always ready for visitors like us at the 
sanitarium? What did he mean, Lucretia? 

Mrs. Lanning. Just his charming hospitality, of 
course. 

Miss Orr. Hospitality nothing! Don't you be an 
idiot, Lucretia ! I've had enough of idiots for one day ! 



CURTAIN 



THE GIRL FROM UPPER 7 

An Original Comedy in Three Acts 
By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
Ten males, eleven females. Scene, an easy interior, same for all three 
acts; costumes, modern and rough Western. Plays about two hours. 
The building of the. W. Re & C. R. R. across a corner of Lower 7 Ranch 
brings about a state of war between the contractor's party and the ranch- 
men at a time when McShane, the head of the former's forces, is ill and in- 
capable. His daughter, Genie, takes charge and by dint of sheer femi- 
nine pluck and resourcefulness saves the situation. A good Indian girl 
part and a large cast of ladies with opportunity for pretty dressing. Pro- 
duced by the author with success and strongly recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Rev. John Blake. Fitzhugh Montmerry-Loveland. 

Francis Hughes, Acting Manager of Tom McShane. 
the W. R. &> C. R. R. Rose Hawkins \ ~ ,, , ,. 

from the East, Mary Hawkins } J onahs *>»***"*- 



Edward Fielding 
Douglas Mason 



employed in the Fawn°No-Frnid\ 

office of the W. Mrs. Susan Brent, Mason's aunt 



J R. cV C Octavia Brent | . ;„„„?,,„< 

Steven Malone, Manager of the Genevieve Brent \ n aau Z n " rs - 

Lower 7 Ranch, Flossie Mason \ 

Ezra Simpson, in Malone's employ. Muriel Lee J- Octavia* s friends. 

Jonah Hawkins, Sheriff of Sedhill Irene Gordon J 

County. Fleurette, Mrs. Brent's maid. 

Noah Hawkins. Genie McShane. 

SOUVENIR SPOONS 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Irving Dale 

Two males, two females. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
twenty minutes. Walter Varnell takes his wife and sister to a fashionable 
restaurant for dinner and the sister succumbs to temptation and annexes 
one of the spoons as a souvenir. Brother takes very high moral ground 
when circumstances reveal this, but the plot thickens later and it tran- 
spires that his wife, whom he has held up as a model, has taken with the 
same motive a brass finger bowl. This story is very skillfuly developed 
in a play of exceptional interest and acting quality. Strongly recommended. 

Price, 13 cents 

ON TO VICTORY 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
By Hester N. Johnson 
Two males, six females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, easy and uninv 
portant. Plays an hour and a quarter. Barbara Manning, an ardent 
suffragist, mistakes the new minister for her chum Betty's big brother 
from California, who is to carry the banner in their parade, and inveigled 
him into participation with the " cause." This rather messes things up for 
him professionally, but he survives that and wins Barbara by way of con- 
solation. A very bright and pretty little " suffrage " piece, strongly reo» 
ommended. Price, ij cents 






TAKING THE CENSUS IN BINGVILLE 

An Entertainment in One Act by Jessie A. Kelley. Fourteen males, 
eight females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, unimportant. Plays an hour 
and a half. One of the always popular go-as-you-please entertainments ; 
iust a lot of laughs strung on a very slender wire of story. Full of eccen- 
tric character bits and chances for local hits. A sure success for the 
laughter-loving. Recommended for church societies or intimate com* 
munities. Price, 25 cents 

MISS PRIM'S KINDERGARTEN 

An Entertainment in One Scene by Jessie A. Kelley. Ten males, 
eleven females. No scenery or curtain needed; costumes introduce 
grown people dressed as children. Plays an hour and a half. Full of 
laughs and a sure hit with the audience. All the parts very easy except 
the Teachers, and as it is possible for her to use a book, the entertain- 
ment can be got up with exceptional ease and quickness. Can be recom- 
mended. Price, 25 cents 

THE PACKING OF THE HOME MIS- 
SIONARY BARREL 

An Entertainment in One Scene by Mrs. Henry A. Hallock. Ten fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, unimportant. Plays thirty minuter*. 
One of those little satires of feminine ways that are so popular even witK 
the ladies; very shrewd and effective, but perfectly good-natured. An as- 
sured success and very easy to get up. Strongly recommended. 

Price, 13 cents 

A MODERN SEWING SOCIETY 

An Entertainment in One Scene by O. W. Gleason. Fourteen females. 
Costumes, modern ; no scenery required. May be easily presented on a 
bare platform. Plays forty-five minutes. A humorous picture of this 
much-abused institution, briskly and vivaciously written and full of 
«' points." Its characters offer a wide variety of opportunity for local hits, 
and satire of local characters and institutions. Price, ij cents 

HOW THE CLUB WAS FORMED 

An Entertainment in Three Scenes by Mrs. O. W. Gleason. Eighteen 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, unimportant. Plays one and a 
half hours. A humorous skit on the Woman's Club suited for perform- 
ance by either young or middle-aged women. Full of points and chances 
for local hits and thus a sure laugh-maker. Parts well distributed ; can 
be recommended. Price, ij cents 

SCENES IN THE UNION DEPOT 

A Humorous Entertainment in One Scene by Laura M. Parsons. 
Twenty-four males, eighteen females and eight children, but can be played 
by less if desired. Scenery, unimportant ; costumes, modern. Full oi 
humorous points and chances to introduce local hits. Plays from an houf 
ttp, according to specialties introduced. Price, 2J cents 



LEAVE IT TO POLLY 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 

Eleven female characters. Costumes, modern ; scene, an easy interior 
Plays an hour and a half. Miss Priscilla Kitten, the principal, has to 
leave her school Hallowe'en night, having forbidden any Hallowe'en cele- 
brations. The irrepressible Polly not only manages to evade this prohi- 
bition, but is even assisted in her revolt by the principal's sister, who is 
taken for another expected visitor, and who finally saves the situation. 
Very lively and amusing, and strongly recommended, Irish comedy part. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Miss Priscilla Kitten, principal. 

Miss Bedelia Kitten, her sister. 

Miss Octavia Harding, instructor. 

Annie, the maid. 

Marion Esterbrook 

Hilda Mason 

Lillian Martin 

Ina Sinclair 

Vivian Wjnthrop 

Mary Ann Meredith ("Polly") 

The Burglar. 



Juniors. Should be played 
by girls about fourteen 
or fifteen years old. 



ring-around-a-rosie 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 
Two males, two females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an interior. 
Plays forty-five minutes. Joe Phipps loses a lot of money on a horse 
named Katrina to Smith, the uncle of his fiancee, and in trying to get out 
of this scrape runs into a perfect cloud of Smiths and Katrinas, is thrown 
over by his lady love, and generally tangled up. His brother's wife 
finally straightens things out. Bright, laughable and of good tone. Can 



be recommended. 



Price, 13 cents 



PETER 

A Farce in One Act 
By Harry Osborne 
One male, two females. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays 
twenty minutes. Jenny captures a burglar in her house and finds that he 
has only come to steal her aunt's Angora cat that she hates. She is on the 
point of setting him free with the cat in a basket when her aunt appears. 
The burglar introduces himself as a cat fancier which so wins aunty that 
she sends her niece to get Peter, her Angora, to show him. While she is 
gone the burglar sells the aunt her own cat. A rapid bit of nonsense fuU 
•f laughs and movement. 

Price, ij cenU 






CAPTAIN CRANBERRY 

A Cape Cod Drama in Three Acts 
By Gladys Ruth Bridghatn 
Eight male, three female characters. Costumes, modern rustic and 
seafaring ; scenery, two easy interiors. Plays two hours. Cranford 
Berry, affectionately known as "Captain Cranberry," has gained from the 
griefs and hardships of a long life a beautiful philosophy and is the main- 
stay of his neighbors. Learning that Ariel, wiio has long passed as the 
daughter of Abner Freeman, a fellow mariner, is his own child, he will- 
ingly foregoes the rights of a father to secure her greater happiness ; but 
events make this great sacrifice unnecessary and all ends happily. Lee 
Gordon's pursuit of material for his great detective story, " The Mystery 
of the Seven Pipes," provides a wealth of comedy, and lots of excitement. 
Free of royalty. Strongly recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Cranford Berry (Cap'n Cranberry), keeper of the Bay Point 

Light. 
Abner Freeman, a retired whaler, 
Obadiah Daniels, postmaster. 
Lemuel Sawyer, constable. 
Samuel Sawyer, his son. 
Lee Gordon, an author. 
Peter Pretzel Pomeroy, his accomplice* 
Nat Williams. 

Ariel Freeman, Abner s daughter. 
Hepsy Sawyer, Lemuel's wife. 
Cynthia Tinker. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Living-room in Cynthia's home — Bay Point, Cape Cod. 
Act II. — The same ; the next morning. 

Act III. — Room in Abner Freeman's old fish house on the 
shore ; late afternoon of the same day. 



DOUBLE DUMMY 

A Comedietta in One Act 
By Ema S. Hunting 

One male, one female character. Costumes, modern ; scene, an inte- 
rior. Plays twenty minutes. Merton Graves, of the Post, in an effort to 
interview the celebrated Mme. Mordini encounters Kathrine Coleman, of 
the Press, whom he takes for Mordini, while she takes him for Wainworth, 
the painter, whom she is after on a similar errand. An amusing bit of 
mistaken identity, very actable. 

Price, ij cents 



THE PEDDLER OF HEARTS 

A Play for Young People 
By Gertrude Kneveh 
Eight boys, six girls and chorus. Scenery, two exteriors, very easy; 
costumes, fancy. Plays an hour. On the day of betrothal of Belrose, the 
Elf King, disguised as a Peddler of Hearts, arrives in Herzimwald, offer- 
ing to exchange his gilded baubles for their real flesh and blood hearts. 
He tricks every one save Gretel, the Goose Girl, who lacks the necessary 
penny, and when the Prince, Belrose's lover, arrives he finds his beloved 
bewitched and the holiday gaiety of the town changed to gloom. The 
unselfish courage of Gretel and her boy lover finally prevail to lift the 
spell and Herzimwald gets back again its warm, happy flesh and blood 
hearts. Very good and strongly recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 

THE TROUBLING 'OF BETHESDA POOL 

A Comedy in Two Acts 
Mrs. George F. Bancroft 
Two males, twelve females. Scene, an interior; costumes, old-fash- 
ioned. Plays fifty minutes. Bethesda, living single and alone as the re- 
sult of a quarrel with a youthful lover, Buckstone Bradford, learns that 
Nan, his daughter by another woman, is being opposed in a love affair by 
the same selfish will that ruined her own happiness. She takes a hand, 
plans a successful elopement for the young couple, and ends by marrying 
the irate father. Very good and strongly recommended. 

Price, 25 cents 



THE BLOW-UP OF ALGERNON BLOW 

A Farce in Two Acts 
By Vance M. Criss 
Eight males. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays thirty-five 
minutes. Blow, who " knows it all " and who has told big stories of ad- 
venture in all parts of the world, is finally entrapped into fighting a duel 
with Hannibal Jones. He puts up a fair bluff at first but Jones* reputa- 
tion and a few reminders of what might happen finally lead him to own 
up and back down. 

Price, ij cents 

THE PRIM MISS PERKINS 

A Sketch in One Act 

By Harry La Marr 

One male, one female. Scene, an interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
twenty minutes. Huldah Perkins advertises for a husband, and Martin 
Muldoon, a tramp, answers, but ends by not answering at all, and Huldah 
marries Martin Witherspoon. Very swift and funny ; a capital sketch. 

Price 9 25 cents 






THE CRIMSON COCOANUT 

And Other Plays 

By Ian Hay 

This collection contains the following titles, all of which can be con- 
fidently recommended for amateur performance in schools or elsewhere as 
high in tone and exceptionally amusing. Mr. Hay is well known as a 
novelist and literary man. 

THE CRIMSON COCOANUT 

An Absurdity in One Act. Four males, two females. Costumes, modern \ 
scenery, an interior. Plays thirty-five minutes. Mr. Pincher, of Scot- 
land Yard, in pursuit of some dangerous anarchists, entangles the lady 
of his choice and her father in some humorous perils, but ends by cap- 
turing both the criminals and the lady. Author's royalty of #5.00 for 
amateur performance. 

A LATE DELIVERY 

A Play in Three Episodes. Three males, two females. Scene, an in- 
terior ; costumes, modern. Plays forty minutes. Bill, a middle-aged 
admirer of Marjorie, learns just as he has finished a letter to her propos- 
ing marriage that Tim, a young man, is also in love with her. He as- 
sumes her to love his rival and does not mail the letter. She finds it on 
his desk and opens it, and learning the truth makes choice of the older 
and better man. Royalty for amateurs, $5.00 for each performance. 

THE MISSING CARD 

A Comedietta in One Act. Two males, two females. Scene, an in- 
terior ; costumes, modern. Plays thirty minutes. Two elderly admirers 
of Mrs. Millington decide to deal the pack to see which shall first propose 
to her, the one who gets the Queen of Hearts to win. She privately takes 
this card out of the pack and when they have gone through it in vain, 
announces her engagement to another man. Royalty for amateurs, #5.00 
a performance. 

Price, all three in one volume, 50 cents 



THE MARRIAGE OF JACK AND JILL 

A Mother Goose Entertainment in Two Scenes 
By Lilian Clisby Bridgham 

Forty children. Costumes, wedding; no scenery required. Plays 
forty minutes. A Mother Goose wedding and reception carried out by the 
smallest children. Very pretty and easy to get up ; strongly recommended. 
Not a pantomime merely, but calls for some speaking parts. 

Price, 23 cents 



Jl. 01. Pinero's Plays 

Price, 50 0e:itg Cacb 



Min fH ANNFI Pla ? in Four Acts - Six males, five females. 
if llLf-V/l mull L1L1 Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH SST'SftK 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. 

THF PROFIinATF Play in Four Acts. Seven males, five 
1 K1L* T I\V/r LlUrt 1 E, females. Scenery, three interiors, rather 
elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF QfHnni MKTPFQQ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 
lflEi 0^nUUL.lflI01IV£<00 seven females. Costumes, mod- 
ern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY g&^EK,^ 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
full evening. 

CWFFT I AVFlSiriFP Comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, 
Off LiLil L./V V£,11UE,IY four females. Scene, a single interior, 
costumes, modern. Plavs a full evening. 

THF THITWnFPRAI T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
lllEi inUllULrvDULl nine females. Scenery, three interi- 
ors; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIMFS ^ ome dy * n Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
1 "*-■ * ll'll-iO Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 
a full evening. 

THF WFA1TFR QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
1HE< YY CrVlVCIX OCiA eight females. Costumes, modern; 
scenery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE FivTmales, four females! 
Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter & pafcer & Company j 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

iihihm 

ill mil mi in in i inn mi inn inn inn mil mi m 

| 017 400 623 4 

Ci)e MttiUatn barren Ctittion 
of Paps 

f&rice, 15 €mt$ 4Earf* 



AQ Yftll I IFF IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
AD Ivll Mnl^ 11 females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried Plays a full evening. 

r AMU I F Drama in F* Te Acts. Nine males, five females. Oos- 
%^AUiiLfL(L tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

IN AHMAD Play in Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
lilU VU1 AA Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek," Plays a full evening. 

M ADY QTrTT ART Tra g ed y m Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
01ilr\l tJlUAAl males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE 2SKSKS22: SSSI 

picturesque j scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

Rim FT IFF! ^**y ** Five Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Bcen- 
IM vllLiyllvU er y elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 
evening. 

THF DIVAI ^ Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
lUli HI YAM Scenery varied; costumes of the period. Plays a 
fall evening. 

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER S^&Sffi^SJS^ 

ried ; oostumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOD WILL 2TM52: 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter $♦ 'Bafeer & Company 

Ho. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



S. J, PARKHILL ft CO., PRINTERS/BOSTON. U.S.A. 



